Earlier on The Legend of Li Xian Part 1.....Who is the mystery person? How is he related to the destroyed city? Can the mystery man see Li Xian? Is Li Xian still as hungry before he found the CD? Is the mystery man hungry too?
The mystery man was standing on one feet, holding a slurpee and listening to "Genie in a Bottle" on his ipod. He look tired, as if he just attended 5 rave parties in as many days. He grooved towards Li Xian...with hair like Nicholas Cage and a beard that touched his knees. "Howzz it goinngg?" He spoked in a French accent. "The city was destroyed by a huge cat. He was huge, fair and had dreadlocks. Apparently he turned into Evil Waikit at the stroke of midnight, and turned the city upside down. More importantly, he took all the women with him and says he will turn them into his virtual reality girlfriends, like his ex-VR girlfriend Tammy."
"I have to stop this cat! And when I'm done with him, I'll feast on him!" Exclaimed Li Xian. From that moment on...he decided to call himself, The Truth. No one knows why he calls himself that, and people wondered what motivated him to change his name to take on the huge cat. The Truth decided to dress himself up formally for his date with the Cat by going to the nearby Target departmental store along High Street in Stonnington 1KM away from the city.
Upon reaching there, he smelled something fishy. No. He smelled something porky. No. He smelled grass. He smelled skunky weed. He knew he's nearing Stonnington. Finally, he reached. He was alittle stoned by then. The town was all smoky and peaceful. Old folks holding pipes, office workers holding joints on both hands, little kids taking bong hits one after another....Li Xian, The Truth, wondered, "It's impossible. How can this town be so peaceful and relaxed while neighbouring city is in dire state?" At this moment in time, he was absolutely feeling the munchies. But he knows he got a mission to complete. He needs to find......formal clothes. Strangely, a brown suit came falling from the skies, with a note saying "You can wear me, or tear me up to make roaches." Li Xian decided to put on the suit....and started exploring Stonnington.
"I'm so sttoonneedd maaannnn.....I think I'm in outer space maaannnn.." A voice from afar caught Li Xian's attention. He followed the voice....took very careful steps to not alert anyone around him...and also to be careful not to step on the haven't fully grown female plants of the Northern Lights. Li Xian was stunned....and stoned. He saw a short indian dude.
Who is this Indian dude? What is he doing in Stonnington? Is he related to the Evil Cat? This Indian sure ain't no simple pothead. He has "Got Curry? Curry Carbonara?" written all over him. To find out what happens next on this 1960s blockbuster box-office hit movie, tune in to the next episode of.....The Talk Cock Show with Koh Li Xian. Good Night.
http://www.dianying.com/en/title/13619
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Episode 21: Do You Feel Vomit?
Welcome to The Talk Cock Show with Koh Li Xian. Tonight, we welcome back renowned local director, Director Tan, to discuss about annoying and irritating girls that have graced our beautiful world. Director Tan has recently been caught up with various gambling activities...which he encountered a girl that has left him irate and disgusted.
Koh Li Xian: Welcome back to the show. It seems like this girl named Selena has not left you with too many good impressions.
Director Tan: We were playing blackjack with a couple of friends. It was all about having fun and enjoying the Chinese New Year celebrations.
Director Tan: So happen that the deck of cards have 5 Eights....it aint that big a deal cos we were having fun...but she chosed to make a big fuss out of it.
Director Tan: She was losing money...so she was very buay song (unhappy).
Koh Li Xian: But it's only a few dollars what...not say it's a lot of money anyway.
Director Tan: I think if you saw her, you confirm also buay tahan (cannot stand her).
Koh Li Xian: Maybe I should vomit on her the next time I see her.
Koh Li Xian: And then the floor become too slippery because I vomit too much on her... and she slips and fall.
Koh Li Xian: Slip on my vomit.
Director Tan: What the hell?! That's disgusting man.
Breaking News: The latest, most popular hotline has hit the town that has captured the attention of Melbournians this summer. Please call 1800-I-Am-Very-Disgusting to find out more about The Most Eligible Indian in Australia, Mr. Glenn Perreire.
Koh Li Xian: Thanks for the newsroom. Welcome back to the show.
Koh Li Xian: As far as I can see, it seems like Selena is very stingy with her money.
Koh Li Xian: She is so stingy with her money, I think her boyfriend needs to insert 20cent coin into her pocket, twist her nipple, then see whether she will give a good kiss or a bad kiss.
Koh Li Xian: Just like the Dragonball Card Machine.
Koh Li Xian: If you are lucky, you will get a shining card.
Director Tan: Hahahahahha....only you can think of such a thing.
Director Tan: Sometimes if you are lucky, you can twist 2 cards out.
Koh Li Xian: .......
Koh Li Xian: Welcome back to the show. It seems like this girl named Selena has not left you with too many good impressions.
Director Tan: We were playing blackjack with a couple of friends. It was all about having fun and enjoying the Chinese New Year celebrations.
Director Tan: So happen that the deck of cards have 5 Eights....it aint that big a deal cos we were having fun...but she chosed to make a big fuss out of it.
Director Tan: She was losing money...so she was very buay song (unhappy).
Koh Li Xian: But it's only a few dollars what...not say it's a lot of money anyway.
Director Tan: I think if you saw her, you confirm also buay tahan (cannot stand her).
Koh Li Xian: Maybe I should vomit on her the next time I see her.
Koh Li Xian: And then the floor become too slippery because I vomit too much on her... and she slips and fall.
Koh Li Xian: Slip on my vomit.
Director Tan: What the hell?! That's disgusting man.
Breaking News: The latest, most popular hotline has hit the town that has captured the attention of Melbournians this summer. Please call 1800-I-Am-Very-Disgusting to find out more about The Most Eligible Indian in Australia, Mr. Glenn Perreire.
Koh Li Xian: Thanks for the newsroom. Welcome back to the show.
Koh Li Xian: As far as I can see, it seems like Selena is very stingy with her money.
Koh Li Xian: She is so stingy with her money, I think her boyfriend needs to insert 20cent coin into her pocket, twist her nipple, then see whether she will give a good kiss or a bad kiss.
Koh Li Xian: Just like the Dragonball Card Machine.
Koh Li Xian: If you are lucky, you will get a shining card.
Director Tan: Hahahahahha....only you can think of such a thing.
Director Tan: Sometimes if you are lucky, you can twist 2 cards out.
Koh Li Xian: .......
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Writers' Strike & Writer's Block
Deepest apologies to my audiences and fans all over the world. Due to the recent writers' crisis, I have stopped writing to show my support for all the other writers. Despite its ongoing protests, I have decided to open my show again because of Chinese New Year.
The Year of the Rat:
References:
http://www.theholidayspot.com/chinese_new_year/more_zodiacs/rat.htm
http://www.c-c-c.org/chineseculture/zodiac/Rat.html
Ladies and Gentleman, this goes to show WHY I am your beloved Talk Show Host. I never like to boast about myself, but facts cannot lie. Tune in to the next episode of The Talk Cock Show, in which the normal program resumes. Until next time, Happy Chinese New Year and let the rat race begin.
The Year of the Rat:
People born in the Year of the Rat are noted for their charm and attraction for the opposite sex. They work hard to achieve their goals, acquire possessions, and are likely to be perfectionists.
The Rat person is usually a bright, happy and sociable personality
The Rat is reputed to make an excellent writer and this is not surprising at all. He makes it a point to know practically everything about everyone in town. He keeps tabs, has an uncanny eye for detail, a good memory and is incredibly inquisitive.
References:
http://www.theholidayspot.com/chinese_new_year/more_zodiacs/rat.htm
http://www.c-c-c.org/chineseculture/zodiac/Rat.html
Ladies and Gentleman, this goes to show WHY I am your beloved Talk Show Host. I never like to boast about myself, but facts cannot lie. Tune in to the next episode of The Talk Cock Show, in which the normal program resumes. Until next time, Happy Chinese New Year and let the rat race begin.
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