Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Episode 7

Welcome to Episode 7 of The Talk Cock Show. Tonight we welcome a man best known for his knowledge in world history, especially Chinese history. His ability to explain the story of The Three Kingdoms in detail send shivers down people's spines. Being regarded as one of the most hated personnel due to his uncanny ability to antagonize people with his creative insults of the highest calibre, he has also slowly developed the skills of talking a whole chunk of cock. His passion for The Beatles, $3 spring chicken and curry laksa ensure the fact that he never wipes his mouth after a meal, leaving behind memories on around his mouth. Please welcome The one and only, Mark Teo Wee Gin.

Koh Li Xian: Welcome to the Talk Cock Show. I'm sorry the interview has been delayed as I only came back from playing basketball moments ago.

Mark Teo: Do you know that according to Newton's Law, Moment = Force x Perpendicular Distance?

Mark Teo: Koh Li Xian, later can I come over your house to slack and play Three Kingdoms at your place using my own laptop?

Koh Li Xian: Yes sure. Seeing you lying on my bed motionlessly playing Three Kingdoms is as good as inviting a corpse in my house on a regular basis. Seems like my room is very police-prone, having people like you and Thomas Li come to my house and do absolutely nothing, just like corpses. Officer Barbrady may well be my best friend in the future.

Mark Teo: I was wondering, what did ancient Chinese people use to get themselves high during those ancient times. I doubt they had weed or cocaine back then.

Koh Li Xian: No they did not use weed to get themselves high. They jump around.

After the break, Mark Teo will share with us his experience while playing The Three Kingdoms PC game as I try to give him some valuable advice.

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Welcome back to the talk show. Before the break, Mark Teo mentions about his latest craze over his Three Kingdoms game.

Koh Li Xian: I can see that you are already playing the game even though you are on my talk show. Seems like you are so addicted to the game that you have caused people around you to be very pissed off with you. While playing mahjong, your friends help to clean the tiles, prepare drinks for you, counting chips, setting the table. And all you did was continue playing your game, expecting people to do everything for you. Worst of all, you even shouted at your friends to prepare faster. I wonder if you have any basic courtesy and morals in you. I guess both courtesy and morals have gone back in time to help you think of better strategies to help you win your game in Three Kingdoms. Or maybe they have gone to help you buy back wonton noodles just because you are simply too lazy to move your ass for dinner when all your friends are going to eat out. Claiming that you were in a rush to go home to do your homework, you ended up playing your game immediately once the mahjong session was over. Which explains why you were in a hurry. You are in a hurry to play your game, and not because of homework. I guess you really have no life.

Koh Li Xian: I can see that you are building some infrastructure in your game. What's the reason behind it?

Mark Teo: I am building my army because it is very weak.

Koh Li Xian: So why not ask them to go to the gym? Do you supply them protein shake?

Mark Teo: Sorry, I am not like Andy Chor Binghoe.

Andy Chor: Why do the buildings look so old?

Koh Li Xian: I'm sure people who live in these old buildings have cobwebs on them.

Andy Chor: No, you are wrong. They are supporters of Spiderman.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Who is Andy Chor? Who is this mystery man who abruptly interrupted the interview? Why is he linked with the gym? To find out, tune in to the next episode of.....The Talk Cock Show with Koh Li Xian.

Last week's trivia question: Why are there no Walmarts in Afghanistan?

Answer: Because there is a Target in every corner of Afghanistan.

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